I finally booked the trip I've been saving up for. This is the culmination of everything I've learned doing this silly hobby. I followed four simple steps and boom!
1. Earned 110,000 United miles in the last 12-18 months through flights, dining, and shopping. (I got the MileagePlus Explorer Card in 2016 but used the signup bonus last summer).
2. Mrs. Fox got a Chase Sapphire Preferred and transferred the 50,000-point signup bonus to me.
3. Built up 80,000 points through spending on my Chase Sapphire Reserve, added the 50,000 transfer from Mrs. Fox, then exchanged the 130k points 1:1 for United miles (online and instantaneously).
3. Spent hours researching routes and dates, and finally had to call due to glitches. I was worried the Excursionist Perk wouldn't work if I called, but it worked.
4. A nice woman named Trina at United reservations squared me away in about 30 minutes (I always avoid talking to humans and I don't know why; it's pretty dumb and self-defeating).
So we are flying as such (x4):
1. 30,000 miles saver fare plus $5.60 taxes:
Washington DC to Frankfurt, Germany, a nonstop overnight redeye.
We'll rent a car and spend a few days revisiting the sights and restaurants (and restaurants) in Germany, where we lived from 2002-06 (and had our first kid, and made our second kid). I learned that one-way rentals within the same country cost about the same, which is different from the U.S. So that will help keep us from retracing our steps, eliminating the need to lay bread crumbs across Germany so we can find our way back to Frankfurt. We'll eat the bread and fly out of Munich.
2. Zero (!) miles plus $45 taxes using Excursionist Perk*:
Munich to Bilbao, Spain.
Bilbao is about 4 hours from Bordeaux in France where we'll spend a week with my parents who are celebrating their 50th anniversary this year, as well as my siblings and their families. We'll rent a car, about $140 for the week, using Chase or Amex points if it makes sense; otherwise we'll use real money.
3. 30,000 miles saver fare plus $113 taxes:
(1) Bilbao to Munich, 1 hr layover
(2) Munich to London, overnight layover
(3) London to Washington, DC.
In London, I'll use hotel points or pay a cheap weekend fare. There won't be time to see the city but my kids can hear the King's English and say they've been to Great Britain. I loved visiting England and Ireland from Germany because it was so nice to hear people around me speaking a language I could understand.
For travel worth a minimum of $5,000:
(4 roundtrip tickets at $1000 each plus 4 intra-Europe one-ways worth $250 each)
240,000 miles plus $604 in taxes
$4396.00 / 240,000 miles = 1.83 cents per mile
The Points Guy does a monthly valuation for points and miles. They value United miles at 1.4 cents each. So I got a good deal by that metric, thanks to the Excursionist Perk. That helps the main in me feel clever, but even if I'd gotten less than 1.4 cents a mile, we're taking an awesome trip for $604!
What is this Excursionist Perk of which you speak, dude? In short, for award travel from one continent to another, United allows you one free* flight within that region. It is pretty complicated and explained in detail here.
1. Book as early as you can. The airlines dedicate a limited number of seats to award travel. Having a United credit card and having status opened more seats to me, but it was still challenging, as my return itinerary demonstrates. Virtually every return trip involved ridiculous itineraries and multiple stopovers to get the saver fare (30k vs the usual 70k miles for economy). It's a weekend in peak season. If I'd have booked 6+ months in advance or even returned mid-week, there would have been better options.
2. They say the toughest way to earn miles is flying. The Mileage Plus Shopping Portal, the Mileage Plus dining program, and even the Mileage Plus X app helped me accrue miles. Oh, and I flew a little, too.
3. Be flexible. I'd have preferred to fly into and out of Bordeaux. To do so would have required an overnight layover in Istanbul airport- where an terrorist attack killed 45 people in 2016! Yeah, those fares are cheap for some reason. It's worth a 4-hour drive along the Atlantic Coast to be less of a target.
4. If you wanna lose weight, try this 1 weird trick.
I was joking about it being simple: it takes some work, and there are challenges.
1. It takes a few months to earn miles and meet minimum spending requirements.
2. It takes years and the right combination of genetics to create and rear four children, three of which will all require braces within a year of one another, enabling you to easily meet those minimum spending requirements.
3. It's tough to find a wife who is willing to use any credit card you hand her. I'm joking about that, too, of course- everybody knows women be shoppin'. Thanks, Mrs. Fox! I'll bring you back some wine and at least two of those three children!
1. Earned 110,000 United miles in the last 12-18 months through flights, dining, and shopping. (I got the MileagePlus Explorer Card in 2016 but used the signup bonus last summer).
2. Mrs. Fox got a Chase Sapphire Preferred and transferred the 50,000-point signup bonus to me.
3. Built up 80,000 points through spending on my Chase Sapphire Reserve, added the 50,000 transfer from Mrs. Fox, then exchanged the 130k points 1:1 for United miles (online and instantaneously).
3. Spent hours researching routes and dates, and finally had to call due to glitches. I was worried the Excursionist Perk wouldn't work if I called, but it worked.
4. A nice woman named Trina at United reservations squared me away in about 30 minutes (I always avoid talking to humans and I don't know why; it's pretty dumb and self-defeating).
 |
| Rothenburg ob der Tauber |
1. 30,000 miles saver fare plus $5.60 taxes:
Washington DC to Frankfurt, Germany, a nonstop overnight redeye.
We'll rent a car and spend a few days revisiting the sights and restaurants (and restaurants) in Germany, where we lived from 2002-06 (and had our first kid, and made our second kid). I learned that one-way rentals within the same country cost about the same, which is different from the U.S. So that will help keep us from retracing our steps, eliminating the need to lay bread crumbs across Germany so we can find our way back to Frankfurt. We'll eat the bread and fly out of Munich.
2. Zero (!) miles plus $45 taxes using Excursionist Perk*:
Munich to Bilbao, Spain.
 |
| No, it's Bil-bao! |
Bilbao is about 4 hours from Bordeaux in France where we'll spend a week with my parents who are celebrating their 50th anniversary this year, as well as my siblings and their families. We'll rent a car, about $140 for the week, using Chase or Amex points if it makes sense; otherwise we'll use real money.
3. 30,000 miles saver fare plus $113 taxes:
(1) Bilbao to Munich, 1 hr layover
(2) Munich to London, overnight layover
(3) London to Washington, DC.
In London, I'll use hotel points or pay a cheap weekend fare. There won't be time to see the city but my kids can hear the King's English and say they've been to Great Britain. I loved visiting England and Ireland from Germany because it was so nice to hear people around me speaking a language I could understand.
There aren't many layovers, but while we're waiting for flights, we'll be in the lounge eating free food.
The Damage/ Analysis of Value
For travel worth a minimum of $5,000:
(4 roundtrip tickets at $1000 each plus 4 intra-Europe one-ways worth $250 each)
240,000 miles plus $604 in taxes
$4396.00 / 240,000 miles = 1.83 cents per mile
The Points Guy does a monthly valuation for points and miles. They value United miles at 1.4 cents each. So I got a good deal by that metric, thanks to the Excursionist Perk. That helps the main in me feel clever, but even if I'd gotten less than 1.4 cents a mile, we're taking an awesome trip for $604!
What is this Excursionist Perk of which you speak, dude? In short, for award travel from one continent to another, United allows you one free* flight within that region. It is pretty complicated and explained in detail here.
*you always gotta pay the taxes; taxes are, after all, the only slightly more popular of life's two certainties
Things I learned
(I know United best but most of these lessons are applicable to other airlines)
2. They say the toughest way to earn miles is flying. The Mileage Plus Shopping Portal, the Mileage Plus dining program, and even the Mileage Plus X app helped me accrue miles. Oh, and I flew a little, too.
3. Be flexible. I'd have preferred to fly into and out of Bordeaux. To do so would have required an overnight layover in Istanbul airport- where an terrorist attack killed 45 people in 2016! Yeah, those fares are cheap for some reason. It's worth a 4-hour drive along the Atlantic Coast to be less of a target.
4. If you wanna lose weight, try this 1 weird trick.
Conclusion
1. It takes a few months to earn miles and meet minimum spending requirements.
2. It takes years and the right combination of genetics to create and rear four children, three of which will all require braces within a year of one another, enabling you to easily meet those minimum spending requirements.
3. It's tough to find a wife who is willing to use any credit card you hand her. I'm joking about that, too, of course- everybody knows women be shoppin'. Thanks, Mrs. Fox! I'll bring you back some wine and at least two of those three children!
 |
| Women be shoppin'! You can't stop a woman from shoppin'! |
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